Arif Khan's Blog

Cycle 3 - Treatment 1 - Day 2

Not too much to report today - my cheeks have felt flushed but i tend to get that immediately after chemo. Been taking all the various doses of drugs - actually the most exciting thing that happened was me almost choking on one of the tablets!

Tiger Woods 08 for the PSP arrived so i can play that now - although golf can be VERY frustrating ive found out! You are on course for an eagle - and then end up slipping to par - or even worse a bogey.

Talking of 'bogey' the Corrado Storm saw its first potential buyer today - a friend of my cousins is interested - actually he thinks his brother would love it. So its my cousin's friend's brother. Just to get that clear.

Its 8pm now and time for some dinner - YouTube is amazing isnt it? I've been studying a 12 x 15minute debate between Ahmad Deedat and Dr Robert Douglas entitled 'Crucifixion: Fact or Fiction' - some background research for the chapter i'm working on on my book.

Cycle 3 - Treatement 1 - Day 1

One piece of news i forgot to post before - today's chemo was given in to the my right hand - not the left.

This is because the vein in the left hand has been abused!!

Its visibly discoloured - although not too seriously - and its never leaked or anything, but you can tell its been used a lot. Changing from left to right meant i had to rearrange things in my hospital room a bit during the treatment - move the laptop to the otherside - move a few other bits of furniture.

Also playing PSP without a right hand just wasnt on - so i had to skip trying to play whilst having the chemo - its still a great distraction for use alll the rest of the time though!

I went out for a walk with my dad this evening and that was good - no recurrance of chest pains - but usually its around day 5/6.

Cycle 3 - Treatment 1 - Day 1 - Photos

I took some photos today - whilst killing time - only with my camera phone tho and i was pretty much bound to my chair at the time but i'll share them as people must wonder about how the drugs are given and what it all looks like etc. I get my own room as i'm being treated privately - so thats why it looks like i'm in a hotel room and why no one else is about!

Cycle 3 - Treatment 1 - Day 1

Had Chemo today and all went smoothly really although it did take longer than normal - but i had plenty of Columbo / Poirot to keep me ammused. The most surreal part was when i told my chemo nurse - Leslie - that i was watching Columbo and that in this episode he got his hair cut - she was then keen to see it too - so there's me having chemotherapy and me and the nurse giving the treatment are crowded round a laptop watching Columbo getting a hair cut then laughing at him! Odd but funny!

They remembered to take my lunch order and give me lunch today - although it was not too great - it was my own fault for the choice, i chose 3 cheese tagliatelle - and it was very cheesy and i didnt feel too great whilst eating it! When leslie started giving the chemo she was giving the first medicine and said 'This is the anti sickness...' and i felt like saying 'Is that to help recover from lunch?' - now that would have been as good as columbo and his hair!

I talked to Leslie about the chest discomfort I had and she said some patients have lung problems as a result of the bleomycin - which matched my own research - and she asked if i had had any sort of lung tests - to which i said no. Leslie said that the lung problems, however, normally come much later on.

Dr A came round and had a chat to me. He said some interesting things. He said that following the end of Cycle 3 I may have some scans. He didnt say that if the scans were positive if id still have Cycle 4 - i think i will definately have Cycle 4 as well actually. Next he said that he had sent all my pre-chemo images to the Radiotherapist (Dr P) on (wait for it...) CD-ROM! Doctors are modernising!

I didnt finish till 5pm and its strange how quickly it gets dark these days. I realised i wouldnt be home till well after sunset and that i needed to offer Zohr and Asr there and then before the sunset - so i said my prayers as best as i could in a chair whilst hooked up to the drugs!

I'm home now and just sorting out some chinese take away. I was having cravings following watching one of the Columbo episodes - the guy killed was a chef so the episode is full of food -and focuses on some chinese stuff - so i gotta get some now!

Poirot and 24: The Game

Just when you thought it couldnt get any better... through the post i get:

1. Agatha Christie's Poirot - The Ultimate Collection - 26 discs - all the episodes made to date

2. 24: The Game - PS2

Both of these are great - i ordered them last week and they arrived today, same day as Columbo so i'm spoilt for choice for tomorrow's chemo!

Columbo DVD Boxset Arrives!

Just got the Columbo boxset - season's 1 - 7 in one collection - should keep me busy! It will be ideal to watch during the chemo sessions as privately i get my own room and i have started taking my laptop along. I can watch columbo whilst playing on the PSP - brilliant!

Wonder if anyone has thought of doing a Columbo game for the PSP?

Cycle 2 - Treatment 2 - Day 28 - 8:30am Heart Echo

Today is the official end of Cycle 2 - and the official half way point of the chemo.

I had the heart echo this morning at 8:30am (well more like 8:45). The specialist who saw me is Dr. V - he even has his own website at http://www.cardiology-specialist.co.uk !

His website says this about him - which i just read now:

In addition to his general training in Cardiology he has a special interest in Cardiac Imaging and in particular echocardiography, both trans-thoracic and trans-oesophageal

Seeing as i was having an echocardiography scan with him this is good to hear!

So yes, he's a cardiology specialist and we had a chat this morning first. I told him my symptoms and how currently i had no discomfort. He said that chemotherapy can affect the heart. Then he did the heart echo which takes about 10 minutes. During this time electrodes are placed on the chest and a handheld device is pressed on to the chest and moved around along with some jellly - similar to an ultra sound. During the echo at times you get to hear the heart beating and overall i think it gives you detailed information about the heart's operation.

At the end he said that the heart was fine and he could see nothing to worry about. He then said that the best thing to do would be that next time i had any pains / tightness to come in then for an echo and see if we could spot something then. He speculated that the chemo drugs could be causing some temporary swelling / inflamation of one part of the heart and this could be why it comes and goes.

I told him that i had a chest x-ray with him the very next day at the New Victoria Hospital and that is this needed - he told me to cancel it and its better that we try and have an echo / scan when the discomfort is there.

He said he would write a full report to Dr A and that he's advise him that i can continue as planned with the chemotherapy tomorrow. Also Dr V said he'd be keen to see me before my next chemo dose - i think he meant even if i had no further chest pain.

Overall i am happy i went to see him and happy that he said things are fine - thats good to know.

One question is that if i was to develop chest pains - say this weekend - and i told them, when would they be able to arrange a scan by? Would it be in time or would my symptoms have gone by then?

Blog Readers - Take a Bow

I've recently checked the number of page views that the blog has had. Sadly i cannot get fully accurate information on the number of unique visitors etc - but i get information about the number of posts read on a given day.

I was amazed to read that the number of posts read - on the first day there were over 50 pages read - and i only had a single page then - so that must have been 50 people logging on to check! The peak since then has been 96 pages - last Monday.

No what has impressed me the most is how well the readers know the routine of my ABVD.

The average page views per day is about 2.56 - yet there's two days that have shown very large peaks.

Two days that have shown huge peaks are both the day before / after days ive had chemo #2. 90+ Page views on those days. Also for all treatments traffic is very high on day either side of the chemo treatment.

This means my readership is properly clocked on to the exact dates that matter for me - an intelligent readership - just what every writer hopes for!

I am amazed by how many read this blog and its strange when talking to people that there's so much i dont need to repeat as they've read it from here.

Its been a very good tool and one id recommend to anyone going through something like this.

Another touching thing is that if i write a post describing a lot of discomfort and pain then i do very soon afterwards get calls / messsages asking how i am and how i am getting on.

To everyone who's used this blog in one way or another - take a bow - you've been great!

Only half the ride complete though - we have a long way to go together still.

Cycle 2 - Treatment 2 - Day 27

I was very lucky to have a day packed of visitors today. Kalim came round and ended up staying till 9pm, which was brilliant in terms of excellent company, although he was very embarased about ending up staying that long! My brother and his wife and family came to visit also. It meant that from about 2pm onwards i was in constant conversation till about 11pm tonight. Thankfully it wasnt just conversation about the depressing details of chemotherapy - a lot of it was lively, topical discussion about a variety of things. With Kalim i was able to talk to him a lot about books i've been reading and various related topics - watched a bit of 'The Retreat' together and i gave him a copy of the documentary 'Did Jesus Die?'.

My brother's wife told me how she managed to read my ENTIRE blog yesterday! What an achievement that is - maybe there should be some prize for that? Anyone who was to read the whole thing would have an incredible insight in to what the past few months have been like for me. It was good having discussions with family members who were clued up on everything - up until now i think the family member who knew the blog the best was my cousin Rashid - but now he has a fight on his hands! In addition there's many, many other 'blog regulars' i know - i appreciate you all reading this junk i write!

With my brother and his wife we talked about the drug Bleomycin and its possible side effects and damage it can cause to the lungs. We talked about if treatment can be given without that drug - or if a substitute is used. Its something ive been keenly researching online. You can have them without it being given - so you get AVD instead of ABVD. On messageboards / forums patients are advising other patients not to skip it - yet on some websites ive read that there's no solid research to say Bleomycin is actually beneficial.

A day packed with talking, discussing and contemplating different things with different people. Its been good - i have a very busy couple of days coming up now.

About time i went to sleep as its almost midnight.

Half Time Treat From Fortent

Today Ben came over to visit and he brought me a gift too! I saw the HMV bag and for a moment got my hopes up thinking maybe it was a PS3 game - then maybe a DVD - then Ben gave me the story. Ben was the first person at my last place of work (Fortent) to find out about my health and i told him to tell others if it came up - to avoid me telling everyone individually. A few weeks later he left the place too - yet before going he was sure to tell everyone. I got a few emails then - little did i know that the plot was thicker.. he had arranged a collection and a card.

So today Ben gave me the card - full of classic comments that really brought me happiness - and also a PSP along with a couple of games (including one from Utty's personal colletion apparently!). I was just speechless. I still am. In addition i was also given a very very generous amazon voucher from everyone at Fortent too to allow me to buy plenty of things to keep me busy.

All this came along just at the 1/2 way through chemotherapy point - so i see it as a half time booster just when i needed it - thanks everyone.

I was truly humbled by it all. I'm greatful to all those who contribued, and especially to Ben for arranging it all and making the delivery etc. The card is great, the gifts stunning, the gift voucher unbelievable too. The gifts will definately make a real difference too as i look for things to fill my time with - as ben pointed out i could play on the PSP whilst having chemo in fact!

Massive thank you to everyone at Fortent - i'll have to send them all a letter / email to say thank you.

Cycle 2 - Treatment 2 - Day 25/26

The good news is that my chest pains appear to have cleared up completely. On Friday i did a fair bit of walking and going up and down stairs and just being out for a good couple of hours. At the time i was getting discomfort, i was feeling slightly short of breath and also was sweating. This was all quite upsetting! Towards the end though i realised it was more to do with my fleece being much warmer than i thought - and opening the zip on that helped a lot.

Friday afternoon the pains had gone. Saturday morning i did some walking too and felt fine. Its been a testing few days though - and the heart echo and chest x-ray are a deviation from the 'script' slightly - up until now its been plain sailing but this may the first little complication.

Just when i've been a bit down i've received a ray of sunshine from an unexpected source but i'll dedicate a separate post to that as i want to give a proper shout out....

Cycle 2 - Treatment 2 - Day 24

I had a blood test today and was planning to talk to the chemo nurse, Leslie, about the chest pains i have had. Strangely i didnt go in to the hospital till after 1pm - just as i was going in to the private wing my consultant, Dr A, just happened to be coming out and he held the door open for me - he asked how i was and i mentioned the chest pain.

He was literaelly on his way out at the time but he took the time to stop and go back in and examine me in detail. Following this he booked a chest x-ray for me, its going to be next Tuesday at 6:15pm, same day as chemo but in a different hospital. After this we called for the nurse to come and take my blood but when she didnt answer her bleeper a couple times Dr A set about doing it himself - you could tell it had been a while since he'd done it!

Its just coming up to 3pm now and im back home - the discomfort in the chest is still there. I told my parents about the x-ray and my dad commented that i never told him about the pains - its strange how people you live with / see often dont really ask how you are! Not through any neglect, but just as they see you doing your normal thing so think you are fine. No one in my house reads this blog for instance - but you can understand why when they see me everyday!

Just had a call from Dr A now - he's said that i may have a heart 'echo' done. I'm happy with this as before chemo started i had an 'echo' to get a 'baseline' for me and now i would be interested to know how it compares with that. I think its more respistory related than heart, this pain, but we'll see. Quite important things hearts and lungs!

I am very pleased that i bumped in to Dr A today as otherwise telling the nurse, then it being referred to the consultant, then him arranging to see me etc etc would have delayed things a lot.

Ok - just had a call - my heart echo will be at Kingston Hospital on Monday morning, 8:30am - 1st floor outpatients in the Chest Clinic.

In terms of my health at the moment i feel ok, but this pain is irritating and nagging and constantly there and makes concentrating on things quite hard. I was advised to use paracetamol today - maybe i'll try that.

Photo Timeline - 9th September -> 24th October

The following images give some idea of hairloss although they are not evenly spaced out in terms of time.

1. September 9th

2. September 18th

3. October 1st

4-6. October 24th

The most alarming photo is photo # 6 - thanks to my sister for climbing on a chair to take that one - its a view i've not seen myself! Most of the hairloss ive had has been from the very top of my head - the shot of my hair from the back shows how that has hardly been affected. At the moment the loss is still quite 'even' in terms of i dont have patches missing - overalll i am very pleased with how my hair has held up.

I have two more cycles to go though, we'll see how it holds up in the following weeks.

Cycle 2 - Treatment 2 - Day 23 AM

I didn't sleep well last night - but i was able to sleep through till about 5:30am. I got up then and found my dad awake - he offered me some tea, then talked to me about the price of oil! Pretty sure i didnt dream that part! I got some water and tried going back to sleep but it didnt happen. I stayed up till about 8:30 - going through some emails - logged in to work and chased up the HR issue from yesterday. Watched some more 24.

About 8:30 i got in bed again - next thing i know when i woke up it was 2pm! My routine is totally messed up and i've almost run out of 24 episodes too despite only getting season 3 on saturday! Hopefully my Columbo Season 1 - 7 will arrive soon - which you can buy here - and then that will keep me busy for a while!

Its almost 5pm now - the day light hours have gone - yet im only feeling fully awake now. Today the chest pain has become less, but its still there - again its more a discomfort and its lower than the chest. I feel like ive lost weight or muscle in that area too. This morning i was reading online again about longer term affects of ABVD - the chemotherapy treatement i am on - and lung damage and effects on the respitory system are quite high on the list.

Im hoping to put up some pictures to document the hairloss thing - this is probably one of the main questions people have prior to chemotherapy - and i think i have some photos to show the progress of this - also some people who have not seen me in months may be reassured by them as they'll see that i'm doing ok rather than having to rely on 'reading' it on here.

Cycle 2 - Treatment 2 - Day 21/22

Both monday and tuesday have been tough days. Sunday night / Monday morning was bad too. I've been getting chest pains / tightness in the chest again. Actually, pain is too strong a word, its more discomfort around that whole area. It appears to be regularly on the 5th / 6th day after each treatment. Its the sort of discomfort that is hard to ignore and gets in the way of everything, sleep included.

I had a blood test monday morning and that was fine, counts all good i was told. Going out was good for me, and i felt better, but later on in the evening the discomfort continued.

It continued in to Tuesday too. I've done very little activity these past two days due to this. Its annoying really. Not been out the house or worked outside.

Everyone is on half term at the moment too - and it would be nice to do something as a family but the main focus by mum has been to get everyone to do housework!

Both my sister and my mum are coming down with cold's - that is not good - mum told me that she was ill and that nylah was getting ill too - to which i replied 'I'll leave then!' - not much you can do when you live in the same house as others who are ill - a bit tricky! I gave Shareef a lift from Kingston to Sutton and back to Kingston today (dont ask!) and he was ill too - bad time of year for it.

Today i had two letters from HR at work both saying that i needed to 're-certify' my sick leave and send documents through by the end of the week! This was days after recieving letters from the same department saying they had gotten all that was needed and that my leave was approved! I contacted my contact there and she said not to worry and that she'd take care of it.. hmm.. hope that gets sorted out.

Its just past 10pm now and the pain is still there. Its more a stomach pain at the moment and around the lower left lung more than anything. I hope it will be gone by tomorrow, its starting to really wear me down.

Cycle 2 - Treatment 2 - Day 19/20

This weekend has passed better than other post-chemo weekends. Its usually the weekend where the chemo medicines appear to kick in. Often i find negative side effects are at their worse on the weekend. This weekend the chest tightness has threatened a few times but never really come. I've also ensured ive had a lot more rest / sleep this weekend. This has been helped with the weather being quite cold - which is perfect for encouraging you to stay in bed.

Having said that the sunny clear days - and just me being the sort of person i am - i have been out and about this weekend too - but nothing strenuous. One thing i am being overly cautious about is wrapping up warm. Both Saturday and Sunday when i went out in the day i wore a thick polo neck top and a fleece on top of that. Both days this proved too much whilst the sun was out!

Car is looking quite good these days - going to get some photos on here. The side skirts + the rear spoiler add a lot to the car.

Got some tips from the Polish dudes about fitting the remaining parts (rear lip bumper and front lips) but the recommendations is to remove the bumpers from the car before sticking on the extra bits.. hmm.. we'll have to see about that.

Blood test tomorrow (Monday) and then another blood test probably Thursday.Also booked in for some work at my uncle's office tomorrow too - so we'll see how my energy / concentration levels are after that.

Cycle 2 - Treatment 2 - Day 18

Its getting cold! Lovely clear days means its hard not to go outside and start working on the car, but come 4/5 the temperature drops. The work on the car from yesterday tired me out quite a bit again. Not a treatment related tiredness, just a hard-work-in-the-cold type tiredness. Similar to how you feel after getting home from games when at school in autumn!

With this in mind ive been sleeping quite a lot - i was up by about 9ish on Friday but at 4pm i came in, took a shower, relaxed, offered my prayers and then slept / rested for a few hours. At night i started watching the Alien Quadrology that ive had sat on my TV for months! Its got 9 discs and i got it for £20 once upon a time.

The car now has all of the rear spoiler on and we've experimented with the rear lip bumper. That will probably be the next task then its the front lips. The front lips are going to be hard as they need to be gently bent to fit the curve of the bumper and most 'how to' guides talk about clamps and wood and all sorts of things we dont have.

Its the weekend tomorrow - late this evening i thought i was getting chest pains again - i'll see how it goes in the next couple of days.

Treatment 2 - Cycle 2 - Day 17

Another day packed with outdoor car work - to be fair the first half the day was packed with sleeping! Working most of yesterday outside along with the drop in temperature and sleeping with a heater on meant i slept lots today. I kept getting up from about 7ish but didnt get up properly till 11:30.

Amazingy the induction finally arrived today, but the day was dominated with me and my dad trying to bolt on a rear spoiler on the Coupe - took us about 5 hours in total! Lots of careful marking and planning involving masking tape, bluetack, washers, and even match sticks and lots of tools! Managed to do a really good job in the end (if we do say so ourselves) and the side skirts put on yesterday have dried nicely. The spoiler comes in 3 bits - the large centre piece is on that goes across the boot, now need to stick down the bits that go either side.

Took a family effort to get the induction kit in but i think there's an air leak somewhere - it does make for some funny dump-valve type noises though - tomorrow is the day to look more in to these though.

I've felt a bit iffy today food wise - stuck to snacks rather than full meals - found a drink in tescos that is made from 100% pomegranite though - not from concentrate and it has some blueberry in there too - really good drink that one. Its called 'Pomegreat' - i think the one ive had previously was different to this one - this one seems to have no sweetners or anything at all - not made from concentrate either. Anyway - its been a good drink today.

The cold weather and hard work has made me very tired again - had plenty of cramp in my hands and feet too from being outside so much - been wrapped up warm though. This car + body kit is a very good distraction.

Other big news of the day? www.humanityfirst.org.uk now points at the version on the NEW servers and everything is officially moved over. Job 99% done. One more task requested before its all done and dusted though.

Right - its almost midnight - bed time.

Treatment 2 - Cycle 2 - Day 16

I felt quite flushed for the whole day today. Cheeks were hot and felt warm - but apart from that i was ok healthwise. I spent most of the day attacking the body kit for the Fiat - side skirts are now on - to get on each one i had to drill 4 separate holes and put in 4 screws along with take the rear wheel off and use tons of glue! Big thanks you to my younger brothers for helping me out - well partially helping me out and partially annoying me - or taunting me by videoing the whole thing!

It was a nice sunny day but was a bit chilly - i'm sure the hard physical effort was not ideal for my health - but it was a form of exercise i guses and did give me something to do. The rear spoiler needs to go on tomorrow morning - its in 3 bits - then front lip spoiler and a rear one.

This evening i was finalising the Humanity First website for moving on to the new server - I'm just waiting on the final nod before moving officially over to the new server. An exciting moment.

Also been playing mortal kombat 2 as well as embarking on a late night trip to tescos to buy essnetials like Monster Munch, Walkers Sensations, Onion + Garlic dip, Petits Filous and Kit Kat! Classic snack items!

Its past midnight and im drained.

Cycle 2 - Treatment 1/2 - Day 14/15

Monday was an odd day really - i spent 1/2 a day working at my uncle's office networking his PC and working on a few other things. It was the first time i had done an intensive amount of work in an office setting and sadly it really tired me out. I left drained and with a headache - but then i didnt eat lunch that day. In the evening i went to chicken cottage with a group of friends and that was nice - but still quite tired.

One thing i am definately tired about is having to defend my chance in cars!

"Why have you downgraded your car?"

"Yes it is a downgrade - VW to Fiat"

People just look at styling - ignoring BHP, the fact its got a turbo - the fact its newer - the fact id had Corrados for 3 years! Oh well - i dont mind too much but yesterday it wore me down - that along with Ibs and Lib saying i dont talk to ibs in a proper way!! Lets not go there. All i was trying to say was that Nylah was mature - and it ended up somehow getting on to why i sometimes take the micky out of ibs!

So energy levels felt a bit low and it was the first time on chemo since i've felt that - so a bit sad. Also i know just before a treatment the blood levels drop a lot - so could have been related to that.

Tuesday

Had treatment 2 today and it was pretty uneventful again. I took my laptop this time along with Ashes 2006/7 DVD and Airwolf Season 1 (which is only £8 in HMV at the moment!). I was happily watching those - but apart from that the experience was not that great as nurses forgot about me so no one took my lunch order - in the end i got a cheese omlette which was ok, but not great.

My blood counts were quite good today - the key one - Neutrophils were 1.8. The last two times they have been 1.2 and 1.3 respectively. 1.8 seems good! Also the chemo nurse commented on how well ive kept my hair which was nice coming from someone who sees a lot of chemo patients etc. We talked about how much it varies in patients.

The nurse that actually gives the chemo is an NHS nurse - but as none of the nurses in the private wing are qualified to give these drugs she has to come up a floor - come to my ward - just to treat me. She never complains but i can tell its a bit of a strain. Her name is Leslie and she's been brilliant. She's proabably in her late 40's yet is full of life and enthusiasm. This is really important for the job she's in - always positive too.

We talked today about a retreat she had been on - she talekd about monastic services at 4am and how she really enjoyed it - i could feel her relief when i talked about Ramadhan and Itakaaf and how Muslims have similar experiences - she then said how other people at work didnt really understand what she went for and what she got out of it. Talking about religion in a nurse / patient dialogue is a bit tricky as its not very 'PC' - but when i had my surgery i got in to an excellent discussion with one of the trainee surgeons - really enjoyed both. I have the BBC documentary 'The Retreat' recorded on DVD somewhere - wonder if giving that to Leslie is ok? It is an Islamic retreat but 3 out of the 6 people that go are not Muslims - then again one does convert - maybe its a bit full on! There's no harm - i may as well!

I got home for about 4pm - my dad picked me up - my Fiat body bit kits arrived today! I am still waiting on my inudction kit though. The body parts had to be made, sprayed, and then shipped from Poland - the induction kit just posted from within the UK - i ordered them about the same time YET i still have not had the induction kit and the body kit has arrived!!!!!!

Hoping for better weather the next few days and i can put this stuff up.

Today i even went out in the evening to wagamama's - i've never gone out the same day as treatment before, but it was just about ok - although come 9ish i felt a bit sick as 9am is the time for a dose of 3 medicines! Doh! Next time i should take them with me! After having the mediciines though i felt fine again.

One thing that was good today - Dr A, my consultant came to see me and without me even talking about breathlessness he examined me and purely checked my breahthing. My breathing sitting up and lying down listening from the front and back in various places. I felt not happy overall but his words were 'excellent' - if the shortness of breath things comes up again i am gonna call and speak to people at the hospital. Its usually the weekend after treatment - so in a few days time...

Krispy Kreme Video

Here is the video of us in Krispy Kreme - pre-drive!

Cycle 2 - Treament 1 - Day 12/13 - Eid Weekend

Eid this year was definately strange. Saturday morning whilst everyone went to the mosque i was unable to go due to the risk of infection - so instead tried doing some last minute eid gift shopping without much joy. Once everyone was home it was things as usual though with good food and visits from various relatives. The highlight was probably getting 4 cars lined up in Krispy Kreme and then on the A3 for a drive with a video camera in one of the cars - this did not quite go to plan for me - but no one got hurt and we have some nice video footage for Ghaalib to work his magic on.

I've try and add a clip of the four cars (Seat Ibiza Cupra 2.0 16V, Mercedes AMG C36, Corrado VR6, Fiat Coupe 20VT) with the four drivers in Krispy Kreme - it was nothing too serious - just a bit of a laugh!

In the evening i got to meet Irfan for the first time in 2 weeks - very good to catch up and have another classic marathon Arif-Irfan conversation - the type only me and him can have really! Really appreciated it though - then he ended staying over till very late indeed playing Mortal Kombat 2!! When you have a print out of the special moves, fatalaties and other moves its even more addictive than normal!

Overall the day was very good and i went to sleep very tired about 2:30am ish.

On Sunday i went with Shareef to visit Naeem in Farnham - another nice trip - got back from that about 5:30ish and spent some time with Shareef and dropped him off before coming back home for an evening in. During today i was thinking if id made the right decision moving from the Corrado to the Fiat - during this period today I saw FIVE, yes.. FIVE Corrados - including TWO storms - what are the chances of that? Shareef kept saying it was some sort of divine sign - maybe he's right!

Also we saw an Audi R8 on the road! It made me stop and turn the car around just to follow it - sadly the driver never went above 40 - but what a stunning car.

Around 10ish Gibbon came over and i took him for a spin in the Fiat before us both going for a drive in the storm + fiat - we changed over after a while too and tested them out head to head - very close indeed. In 2nd gear from 30 mph to 70 mph it was too tight to call between the cars. Literally neck and neck. The Corrado of course makes more noise about getting from 30-70 though!

So sounds like the weekend was dominated by cars! It was a nice weekend and i felt absolutely fine all day. The hairloss contniues but just small amounts. Only the very front of my head is losing hair - the back for instance is as full of hair as ever. I'll have to get some photos on here too to re-assure those that have not seen me for a while.

Eid marks the end of Ramadhan, a very strange Ramadhan indeed - this whole period of sitting things out and being on the sidelines so to speak is making me appreciate a lot of things a lot more - for one i cannot believe how hards its been to miss the fasting - this may sound crazy to others but i feel i'm someone who fully understands the philosophy of fasting and that ive derived great benefit from previous years.

FInallly - shout out to Ben - he called to say he may be coming over today and i FOOLISHLY assumed that he was vising his relatives who live near me and that he was going to pop over to mine - when in FACT the big man had planned to come just to see me - hopefully next weekend or some other time ben - sorry for assuming u were coming to see your relatives!

Bedtime now - i'm booked to spend the day doing some work for one of my uncles tomorrow - and in the evening i'm meeting up with some old friends - after that it will be bed in preparation for Tuesday's Chemo.

Cycle 2 - Treament 1 - Day 11

The final Friday of Ramadhan today - a time when all Muslims try their best to attend the Friday Prayer. It was strange watching it on TV again - even more strange is the prospect of tomorrow being Eid and me not being there. I'm well enough to go of course, but ive been told to avoid large gatherings - pretty much exactly what Eid at Baitul Futuh mosque will be. Prime time to pick up infections! I'll have to watch on MTA again. Afterwards though it should be eid as usual with lots of good food and family get togethers. It should be a nice relaxing day and i'll hopefully be able to meet my cousins and give eid wishes to all.

Havent been able to buy eid presents this year - but hope to go for the type of present all kids enjoy - cash! My brother Ibraheem kept all 30 fasts this year without missing a single one - i think he deserves a special mention for that - not that anyone in the house ever reads my blog - but well done Ibs!

I completed the Humanity First website migration today. Got the new version on the new server running nicely - sent it to be approved - once they are happy with it i can transfer the domain. I had a nice message from HF offices saying everyone was very greatful for my help and were praying for me. It was a pleasure working on such a good cause.

Everything has been good today healthwise - im becoming more conscious of my hairloss though - the front of my hair is notacably thinner, and i've started to try and change the style of the hair to cover any thinner areas - quite funny how its human nature to do that - 4 days till the next treatment - it will be treatment # 4 out of 8 - so official half way point of treatments.

Finally - EID MUBARAK EVERYONE!

Cycle 2 - Treament 1 - Day 10

I had a blood test today. Not had a call about the results which must mean all levels are fine. This means i should be all set for the next treatment which is on Tuesday. That will be the final treatment of Cycle 2. Things are moving quite fast, its certainly not dragging along. Suffering from few side effects generally also means the time is passing quite nicely.

The weather today has given me more energy too - this morning was very foggy but on the way back from the hospital this afternoon the sun was shining and it felt very fresh yet not cold outside. The sort of weather that encourages activity rather than hiding in bed.

I've got my teeth in to working on my book this week, i've updated the chapter plans and actually started writing some of the first chapter. Today i have come across a book i've had for a while with a page explaining how the 'Ahmadiyyas' have got it all wrong about the Crucifixion. The author makes a series of allegations that are easily refutted. I am planning to write up this 'refutation' as an article and see if they will print it in the Review of Religions.

I've done a bit of work on one of the community websites today - the address is www.islamicfaq.org - i have updates some of the layout and added some 'more' links - its turning in to a really good website - the standard of the responses written by the team is exceptional i feel - really proud of being part of this project.

Special thanks to Numaan Chaudhry for his help with so much of the website stuff - he's taken over and helped with many tasks that normally id be running - wonder if he reads this blog...

Cycle 2 - Treament 1 - Day 8/9

Tuesday was a hard day, i've felt tight-chested all day and its been a major discomfort. Its just there causing irritation the whole time. I've still been able to be up and around - took the Fiat to the mechanics - and had to deal with the crazy traffic on the roads due to the heavy rain. In the evening i met up with Shareef and a friend of his and we went to Frangos - but still didnt feel comfortable.

This morning (wednesday) i feel much better. The same pattern happened about the same number of days following the previous treatment - i've read that for some people one of the drugs, Bleomycin, can cause damage to the lungs / respitory system and some people on ABVD do not have Bleomycin given for the last few treatments.

I have a blood test tomorrow and will see the chemo nurse then so hopefully can discuss it with her. The good news is that today i feel no tightness and feel much better as a result.

Cycle 2 - Treament 1 - Day 7 - Blood Counts

Just had Dr A call through and leave the results of my blood test today:

• All White Blood Cells: 6.2
  • Neutrophils: 4.3
• Haemoglobin: 13.2
• Platelets: 439

Neutrophils are the key one again - and 4.3 is the highest its been since i started chemotherapy - so good news!

The platelets have also now dropped to more normal levels.

The counts are likely to fall later in the week so i have another count on Thursday / Friday.

Cycle 2 - Treament 1 - Day 7 - Clinical Trial

I had a meeting with my consultant, Dr A, today and we had a brief chat about clinical trials. He talked about how research is still being done on the right combintaion to go with for short courses of chemotherapy and then the role of radiation therapy.

The current school of thought is that after a short course of chemo you should follow up with radiation - another is that it may not be necessary. More research is needed in to the effects of either and long term side effects.

He explained that the trial would involve 100 patients who had finished their chemo and showed a totally clear PET scan. Following this they would randomly be given or not given radiotherapy.

He's going to call me to discuss it but even when talking about it he seemed reluctant to push the idea too much to me - where as i would happily enter in to a clinical trial if it could help others in the future. He is going to call me to discuss it later on.

Cycle 2 - Treatment 1 - Day 6/7

I've had a collection of side effects over the past few weeks - when i was first told about the ABVD treatment i was to be given i was taken through about 20 possible side effects. After each one i was told that i may have this or may not. Every single one came with a disclaimer that 'everyone is different'.

Up until now i have personally had the following, in order of frequency:

1. Stomach related [apologies to anyone reading this during lunch / tea breaks!]

- Stomach issues seem to be number one, ive never been sick but had some slight nausea at times - to be honest i expected it to be far worse

- From the forums constipation appeared to be one of those side effects everyone has but no one really talks about - for me its just been strange having to almost monitor the frequency of toilet trips!

2. Soreness of the mouth

- I had this early on, and it comes and goes. So far its not affected my eating and diet much at all.

3. Hairloss

- Something ive written a fair amount about - this is continuing daily, although is still fairly mild. Having hair all over a pillow when you wake is not nice, and also just prior to the loss i seem to get quite a painful scalp.

4. Pins and Needles

- Just the past few days ive been feeling pins and needles type sensations in my hands and feet. Especially noticed this in the feet actually. This was one of the side effects mentioned i seem to remember - its mild at the moment and not affecting day to day things really.

5. Chest pain / Breathlessness

This was a worrying symptom i had two weeks ago and i've felt it slightly this weekend also. One of the drugs can cause lung damage so need to keep an eye on this one.

6. Colour Change

My skin around my hands and feet is darker. This is especially noticable on the ends of the fingers and toes. This is a side effect of one of the drugs and should wear off after time.

Thats pretty much the lot i've had. I have not experienced any real drops in energy levels, but then again my levels of activity have been reduced. Not sure how my system would cope to say a week of commuting and going in to work - that would be the real test of energy levels.

Thats the side effects status as of mid way through cycle 2 - some can develop only towards the end so its likely to change and expand with time.

Cycle 2 - Treatment 1 - Day 5

Felt a lot better today - clearing out the body of the chemo drugs is important, drinking plenty of water to wash them out is good, but also high fibre items to get them out the stomach is important too. This is especially important as the chemo drugs are 'hard on the stomach' and can cause anything from diarrhea to conspitation to vomitting.

I feel much better today and no sickness at all and a very good apetite. Got to finally hold that appointment i had to postpone on Wednesday and that went very well. I've got some clear plans on specific projects that i hope to work on from Monday. The biggest one is this book that ive been talking about - hopefully in the next blog post i'll put some substance around it so with all of you reading it i'm under more obligations to actually procude!

Its almost 2am, not sure why i'm awake, i felt hungry and found some chicken my dad got from tescos in the fridge - anyone tried BBQ chicken with salad cream? Amazing combination! Maybe its a chemo thing..maybe its a 2am thing..

Cycle 2 - Treatment 1 - Day 4

Still feeling a bit sickly today - my diet has remained the same and ive not ever threatened to be sick but just never felt 100%. Things just seem a slightly salty and its enough to just put you off eating.

Having said that i did go out for a meal this evening with some friends. Anas is going moving to Germany for a year as part of his degree so a group of us went for a meal - some rib place who's name i cant even remember. I went for the BBQ chicken and chips and all was good. About 3 hours of today was taken up with changing tyres / wheels on the Corrado. That is almost ready to be seriously put up for sale now. I need a buyer to try and get my finances looking a bit better... so if anyone reading this wants a classic sports car drop me a line!

Cycle 2 - Treatment 1 - Day 3

Still some nausea kicking around today. Today was probably one of the first times I had to cancel a proposed meeting due to not feeling well, nothing too major though. I spent the first half of the day helping a friend get his car out of a body work place and in to a garage. Cars seem to be a re-occuring theme!

Energy levels have been good and i was able to do some key parts of the Humantiy First website, but still felt a bit sick pretty much all day. I dropped Ibraheem at his open evening this evening too and then caught up on some more 24.

Once the HF website is compelete i hope to shift focus to my personal research projects and really get cracking on them. Its now or never really time wise.

Cycle 2 - Treatment 1- Day 2

Been feeling slightly sick all day today. Not a nice feeling, but nothing too serious - just annoying. Its to be expected the day after chemo - in fact today i have in total 10 doses of medicine, and 7 of these are for neusea. Again, ive been very hungry but its not affected things too much.

Spent some good time on the Humanity First website today - i am doing some major work for them - working for charity whilst off work seems a good move, and they are desperate at the moment for assistance with some big IT work.

I got my car booked at DTR for the cambelt - its going in next Tuesday. Not much to report other than that - just tricky trying to work out what the best food items to eat and avoid are when feeling like this.

My new favourite drink is Luzocade Hydro Active - just right for some energy with a semi-upset stomach.

Cycle 2 - Treatment 1 - Day 1

Had chemo today and all went smoothly and to plan. There were no punctures or issues. I was out of the day care room by 2pm too - which is a record! Back home by 3pm.

Before each chemo session blood tests are done to get the blood counts - regulars at this blog (and i know there are plenty of you!) will now know that you need your neutrophils count to be over 1.0 for chemo to go ahead.

I had a count on Friday and neutrophils were a very healthy 3.2 and based upon this the nurse started giving me chemo today before the blood counts had come back for today.

When the did come back they showed Neutrophils were only 1.2! So i was just ok, but it was borderline - not sure what would have happened if it was 0.8 - as i had already started having the drugs!

I met my consultant and i have arranged to come in for an appointment to see him on Monday 3pm. Its hard to know if he's trying to be nice and see me regularly - or if he's just trying to get some money as he gets £150 from my health insurance with each visit! Lets give him the benefit of the doubt!

Back home now and feel ok apart from slightly dizzy - i'm going to rest up for the rest of the day i think.

I talked to Dr A - my consultant - and with ABVD the blood counts are likely to drop between day 7 and day 11 during the treatment.

On the platelets front, they are stilly slightly high - but have now dropped to 430ish - so much better than the 700ish they had risen to before.

End of Cycle 1

First cycle totally complete now - Tuesday will be the start of cycle 2.

Its been far better than i expected, lets hope and pray cycle 2 is also similar. The hairloss ive experienced is now just starting to show - the hair at the front of my head is visibly thinner, but most people have said they cannot tell of any thinning - starting with lots of hair is a plus i guess!

Been sorting out a few things on the car today and sourcing a few bits and pieces and booking services etc.

Tomorrow's chemo session will be done in the same room as NHS patients - as there will only be one chemo nurse and her moving between NHS and private wards would be too hard - so that means no sky sports tomorrow! There's no cricket on tomorrow though - so no big loss!

We are entering the final few days of the month of Ramadhan also - so do remember me your thoughts and prayers during this period.